Who Is the Real Deal – Zombies, Clones & Hasbro Toys

How do we know what’s true or not? The internet is strange truth mixed with lies repeated more than facts themselves, and humor disguised as facts. All this said, the real-world happenings are sometimes the most shocking.

The candidate for the 3rd Congressional District, Timothy Ray Murray, let us all in on a game-changing secret after losing the election to Frank Lucas, our sitting Congressman. He asserted that Mr. Lucas is a clone.

His preposterous statement of “fact” cites that Congressman Lucas was hanged by the World Court in the Ukraine on January 11, 2011. Oklahomans are shocked – Mrs. Lucas was maybe the most surprised citizen. She had no signs, like him wearing the same clothes every day, or suddenly not liking oven-roasted western Oklahoma peanuts, or not wanting to go to the cattle sale.

This should make us all take a step back and think – if they can do this to Congressman Lucas, who else is a clone, or a zombie even? Councilman Shadid maybe, Corporation Commissioner Bob Anthony or Chelinos – restaurants keep popping up with his name, but when was the last time anyone saw him?

It could be a sticky wicket if Gary England or Linda Cavanaugh were found to be a clone or whether they are actually doling out the whole truth. How about the Ogles? They come in all shapes and sizes, but you just plug them in. How about Betty White – is she just jerking our chain? Whatever happened to Chef Boyardee? Do we know the facts? Should we get CSI Spaghetti-O’s involved?

As I get ready to attend my US Grant 1969 45th class reunion, I know someof those people have been replaced with balder, heavier, louder, sweeter, and nicer people than were in high school. The great thing, though, is knowing the kids I went to grade school with are still the same great people who will give you their midnight blue crayon out of their box with a big smile.

Have a great life – and nobody told me this clone deal came with arthritis! 

July 18, 2014 at 9:16 pm Leave a comment

What the World Needs Now…

…is a sense of humor, because it’s already funny!

I was driving in my car and heard a radio spot for “The School for the Deaf” – great recruiting tool!

Running an errand at the store, I noticed that all packages of toilet paper are clear, so everyone knows you’re not buying paper towels or napkins.

Please help me – who in the Sam Hill asked Taco Bell to create a waffle, egg, and sausage breakfast taco? Probably nobody – McDonalds now attributes 80% of their revenue from breakfast products. All their competitors want a bite off the McMuffin.

Why do they close down one lane of the street for a mile or two on a busy street, but are only working in one spot, or you can’t see ANYONE working at all… and sometimes days at a time.

One of the big things these days is to get rid of your landline at home, so guess who is a 100% user of landlines still? Stores that sell cell phones!!!

Next issue – if you’re going to hire a teenage girl (you know – the rolling eyes, gum chewing, sighing, I-can’t-believe-I’m-working-at-the-donut-shop-at-8:30-on-a-Saturday-morning) ones, then at least drill into their minds (or text it to them) PROPER DONUT PROTOCOL. When someone orders three plain glazed and three chocolate glazed, put the plain ones on the bottom of the sack – or separate bags would be a novel idea.

I realize many of you benefit from a product or products at the health food store, but have you ever listened to their radio show? They throw out all those names of pills, potions, herbs, and roots which will help cure or prevent everything except an ill-fitting swimsuit. Let’s put an eye-in-the-sky view on this – there must be over 50,000 items at the HEALTH FOOD store. I would bet my 2004 football card of Michael Vick and his dog that some of them don’t do anything. On top of that, if you mixed some of those things together by taking them at the same time, it could make your rootabago flambago or something. Ridiculous, you say? Or I’m not understanding the concept of these stores? I do, but haven’t felt the need for some peanuts not raised in cages.

One last parting thought to leave you with. You put your children, grandchildren, and food to eat in the cart at the grocery store. Have you EVER seen them cleaning those, except maybe if they are outside when it rains? You never see a news reporter swabbing them to send off for testing. Use your imagination to think about your shopping cart’s history next time at the grocery store.

Talk to you next time – I have to go celebrate the 50th anniversary of Taco Bell never, ever getting my order right…

June 2, 2014 at 12:00 pm Leave a comment

A Sad Day in Capitol Hill Is a Sad Day for the City

Dave and Glen

Dave Sellers and Glen.

The closing of a 108-year-old newspaper would be sad in any town, but as the proclaimer and keeper of my heritage in Oklahoma City and particularly South OKC, this weighs heavy on my heart.

The Capitol Hill Beacon has been the heart of the community south of the river. Did you know the OKC Zoo started in Capitol Hill? I do, because the Beacon told me. Do you know any of the history of the Oil Boom in the early 1920s, ’30s, or ’40s in South OKC, and the reason for so many oilfield-related businesses being south? I do, because the Beacon told me.

The Beacon has kept us informed about local politics, whether it be local, like all the mayoral races, issues of growth after World War II, or the current MAPS programs, as well as county commissioners such as Bill Bishop or Brian Maughan, school board races for OKC and Crooked Oak, and education issues and expansions. The Beacon covered the state legislature races for the House and Senate and explained how those elected became powerful in leadership roles.

The stories of how the Career-Techs (Vo-Techs), Integris South Community Hospital, Oklahoma City Community College, the YMCA, and various non-profits such as the Christmas Connection all were started with a vision and lots of community support. Over the years, the Beacon touted the openings of businesses such as Langstons, Allison’s Reding 66, Keispert’s, Coits, Groves Jewelry, or Dodson’s Cafeterias, to the biggest TG&Y in the world.

Family history for many generations was chronicled in the Beacon. The accomplishments, awards, births, even visits from relatives from afar, were noted in its pages. Visits to Oklahoma by famous people were brought to life, from John F. Kennedy stumping at Reding Shoping Center to Bob Hope coming for a show. The Beacon knew what was news to its faithful readers. The news of local schools and their students’ achievements were great at not only sharing the information, but helped to instill a sense of community in everyone.

What was the secret of the Beacon’s success, you ask? Well, I believe it was the Sellers family, and in particular my good friend David Sellers. He is an astute political observer, a person with a heart of gold, and a true journalist (asker of questions).

Dave spent endless hours at places, functions, meetings, grand openings, closings, speeches, press conferences, while also working diligently at putting out a product on time and worthy of notice.

Dave was the biggest promoter and supporter of all the worthwhile projects of Kiwanis, the Lions Club, and his Rotary Club. His help was a big plus over the years to all community outreach of neighbors helping neighbors. During the wars in Vietnam, Korea, and before, the Beacon would acknowledge those serving our country.

I think a part of the Americana I’ve known has come to an end with losing the Beacon. I hope Dave and his lovely wife and Beacon partner, Gay, will come back and visit us as the Grill on the Hill to share a few memories and laugh about local politics.


March 16, 2014 at 10:21 pm 1 comment

The Congressional Election Is Like a Donut Shop

We have elections every year, every two years, every four years – special elections, municipal elections, bond elections, and probably some I’ve missed – but when Senator Tom Coburn declared he wasn’t going to finish his term, it all broke loose like a dancing donut shop display case.

I’m in, I’m out, I’m exploring it, I’m thinking about it – and heck, just spell my name right! Some pastries could run, but not have to give up being what they are until elected, but some pastries would have to give up being a pastry now and would only remain one if they were elected.

Some of these are pretty good pastries that would easily get re-elected as that pastry again, but would be out this election cycle. Are you confused yet? Well, some aren’t a pastry now, but have been before and for some crazy reason (ego-bongo or something) want to be a pastry again.

These pastries are in three categories: the left, the middle/moderate, and the right. I know I’m talking pastry & donuts, but a “talking head” who used to be a pie guy said only a right pastry can win the Congressional seat this time.

The field is pretty big. On the left, you have the sprinkle donut, cream puff, bavarian cream, vanilla angel, raspberry jelly donut, and coconut topping cake donut. This field of election candidates will attract a wide range on the voter scale.

The second group is not a third party, but somebody who is from the right or left, but is a little more baked in the middle (moderate). These would be your blueberry cake, apple fritter, applesauce cake, honey-dip donut, and chocolate-covered glaze. They will get their confectionery crushed in either the right or left primary, because it’s hard to get left of a sprinkle donut or right of a donut hole.

Last but not least, is the right pastry. These are the stalwarts, not changing or experimenting with their core recipes – the chocolate long johns, cinnamon twist, maple-iced ring, and the staunch glazed donut. Everyone claims to be the glazed donut, the truth standard-bearer of donuts and pastry.

A lot of the donuts and pastries on the left, middle, and right will claim to have the “core value” recipe of the glazed donut, but only the voters can be the judge of that.

So, be sure and go to the polls for the primary and general elections to exercise your American right to choose which donut/pastry you want to vote for – but after reading this, you need to have a napkin with you to wipe off your hands and get that crumb off your cheek.

January 26, 2014 at 7:23 pm Leave a comment

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