Tour: Not in My House, You Don’t!

Let me try to get this straight – citizens (a.k.a. taxpayers) who have planned to be in Washington, DC for spring break this year (2013) won’t get to tour the White House because the President is acting like a spoiled brat.

Some U.S. of A. citizens only get one shot at visiting Washington, DC in their lifetime. This can be spring break, a senior trip, State Leadership trips, or maybe a family vacation trip. This is why he’s a spoiled brat, because his family has been going on exotic, COSTLY, taxpayer-funded trips every year since he’s been in office. Just one or two of these or a campaign trip AFTER he’s already been re-elected would pay for the entire White House tour program.

I bet you’re thinking, “It’s the People’s House, not his.” Great point! Friends, this is not a Democrat, Republican, or Independent issue, but a basic function of government that should be totally transparent with NO agenda. Nobody should be denied the chance to tour their White House.

The President has private quarters and office function spaces. So, to paraphrase another famous President, “Mr. Obama, tear down those velvet ropes and set your people free!”

Goofy World of Sports, or Couch Potato Digest

Poor ol’ Bob Stoops feels like he’s being bullied on his radio show. That’s right, Bob (makes the big bucks millions) Stoops has a weekly radio show which was an interview/call-in show every week.

Now, Big Bucks Bob has declared he won’t take call-in questions anymore. What a wuss he’s become in his old age (being comfortable in his years on the job). Even if the question from a caller could be absurd, couldn’t Big Bucks Bob, Mr. Compete for Championship, and Run a Tight Ship Robert, be man enough to meet the challenge?

He deserves to answer a little bit to all the Sooner fans. His flimsy excuse is that a lot of his peers have also done this. Woe to the legend of Big Bucks Bob if he becomes a “me too” kinda guy.

My second point is the disconnect between 2012 players and the Oklahoma football tradition. Society in general has done a very poor job of teaching history, tradition, and heritage. Most of the current players are caught up in this role. The split families and one-parent families raise their kids in survival mode, not rich in traditions of the middle or upper-middle class.

These 2012 OU football players cannot relate to Notre Dame games in the 1950s, 1960s, or 1970s. Ask them if any of those games have any impact on this Saturday’s game and you’ll be surprised because the answer is NO!

Get a grip – they are like a deer in the headlights. The coaches and academic advisors should REQUIRE them to be drowned in the history and people of the school as relative to that “time in history.”

Maybe the knowledge of when the first black player participated, or when the team played after the man walked on the moon, or during Viet Nam. Bottom line is, get them off Twitter or Facebook and educate them.

The third point is, when the Baby Boomers grew up, baseball was king – but now football and basketball have taken it over. Can any of you out there name the line-ups of either team in this year’s World Series? Can you even name the teams in the World Series?

Baseball used to be on NBC, CBS, or ABC networks, but not now. This shows how far it’s fallen in stature. Baseball players are, in most people’s minds, way, way overpaid. The baseball stadium experience is a very good family experience, but so expensive it’s not viable for most families.

Will baseball ever come back to reality? I say no, but they do need to watch over their shoulder because WWF could also kick them to the curb…

8-Tracks, Common Sense, and Modesty

A lot of people don’t have a clue…

I don’t even know where to start – my brain is about to explode. I guess first, let’s explore modesty (or the lack thereof), just because they see stuff on TV, movies, or on the Internet that reeks of bad examples of modesty. Who would have thought a few years ago that somebody like Victoria’s Secret would have hour-long underwear-prancing shows and commercials during all times of the day promoting them? I guess young girls think it’s a must to show off their “Team Victoria’s Secret” uniforms.

Dressing like those sluts on Jersey Shore is also very popular – but good grief, where the heck are the girls’ “parents”? These sleaze-ball looks are filtered down to junior high and grade school. Boys’ hormones are like a geiger counter at a nuclear reactor. Let these kids be kids for awhile! This includes moms and grandmoms looking like hoochie mamas and setting BAD examples for these young girls.

Next, let’s touch on two other misunderstood concepts – the first being the ludicrous opinion that the Chick-Fil-A issue was about bullying gays or discriminating against gays. Actually, the owner/CEO of Chick-Fil-A (a privately held company) stated that his PERSONAL viewpoint is that a marriage is between a man and a woman, period. Chick-Fil-A doesn’t discriminate against gays in hiring or as customers.

They are exemplary in customer service, to the point that the Department of Safety (DMV) closed for a day to put their employees through the Chick-Fil-A customer service training program. His personal views also sacrifice the money they would be raking in if they were open on Sundays, but he doesn’t get any credit for that. Remember when everything was closed on Sunday? Maybe there was a good point to that.

Next, the goofy Valedictorian who said “H-E-double-hocky-sticks” matter. It wasn’t what she said and it’s not a free speech issue, folks. The issue is that she turned in a speech which required pre-approval, and then delivered a different one. Speaking a graduation is a granted privilege, NOT a right. If she did this in college, they can take away her scholarship.

Now, how about the real-world application – employment. If you do such a thing in a work environment by not communicating approved company material, policies, or values, you get booted, axed, dismissed, or dropped like a hot potato. This spoiled brat girl needs to understand that she has guidelines and rules which also apply to her.

A big character flaw also is that she had an opportunity to negotiate for her point of view (and freedom of speech, so to say), but chose the coward’s way to do it, not the noble First Amendment defender way. That’s like licking all the chocolate icing off and putting the cupcake back.

I just ask everyone to please, when you hear about anything, don’t get shuffled off on the wrong issue because it sounds good – dig a little deeper.

Random Acts of Thoughtlessness

I just lived through bad food service hell this weekend. Now, I could probably do with not eating for two weeks to put a dent in the poundage, but I just expect a little service. Meal and food prices are slowly creeping up, and wait staff are evidently getting their brains sucked out by zombies.

On Friday night at dinner, the waitress was giving me the “mother-mocking wise-ass ridicule”, even though SHE forgot to bring my pre-meal salad. Unfortunately, I could see it sitting like a crown jewel on the stainless steel out-window ledge. I slept on that one, only to awaken to Round Two…

At breakfast inside this lovely, everything-you-could-ask-for-in-a-breakfast place, was lurking another episode. We were so digging our laid-back experience, when our orders appeared at our table. The owner even brought out the plates. But, alas, I ordered a side of bacon with my blueberry pancakes. No bacon!

I was being barraged with butter, syrup, jams, jellies, and cheese – but NO BACON. After slowly eating most of my pancakes, my original waitress showed up to refill the coffee. When I mentioned my bacon, she patted me on my bald head and said, “Does the little boy need his bac-ee?”

My wife and our friends thought that was odd (I thought it was just a tad bit patronizing). Needless to say: Great place, tasty food, miniscule tip-ola.

To round out the trifecta of terrible service, Sunday after church our family went for breakfast/brunch at Jimmy’s Egg – normally an ol’ reliable doo-dah deal – but the zombies had struck there also. It was crowded, I’ll give ‘em that, BUT there was no excuse for three of our party getting their food 10 minutes before the other three. After all, it’s just breakfast, not some gourmet rooty-cadoody fancy food. Good grief, it’s pancakes or scrambled eggs!

The two-and-a-half-year-old was bacon-in-the-belly ready to split. Now, an enjoyable Kodak moment breakfast turned into a “keep the kid engaged” game, and half of us are feeling bad about eating at a normal rate. Peer pressure or rowdy tot pressure, it’s no way to spend a lovely Sunday morn.

Does this really matter in the big scheme of things? Maybe not. But do I dare order extra cheese or no onions on my Taco Bueno order? Not unless I wear my Yankee ball cap and a bullet-proof vest!

OK, I admit I’ll probably eat at these places again, but only under an assumed name…

The Oklahoman 2012 Readers Poll Conundrum!

The NBA playoffs are starting, a new convention center is fixing to be built, there’s a huge resurgence in the arts – but another step to being a “Big League City” is our choices. We need to recognize our local jewels, not just a “prop-in-a-box” substitute. We need to realize that all these chains are good, but not GREAT or LOCAL.

The final five in the Oklahoman reader’s favorites poll in the Italian Restaurant category are Carino’s Italian, Olive Garden, Papa Dio’s (local and great), Primo’s (local), and Zio’s. Where are the local, tantalizing, taste bud-busters with family recipes like Custino’s, Vito’s, Benvenutti’s, Bella Vista, Bellini’s, Café Pranza, Meiki’s Italian, or Othello’s?

I challenge you to go try these LOCALS and then see the chains in Cleveland, Little Rock, or Mobile are the same as they are here. Our locals are each distinctive in food, location, and service. I personally have different dishes that are favorites at each place, like the Veal Marsala at Café Pranza or Vito’s dish of Shrimp Spendini.

Not only do we need to support our local restaurants, but realize their taxes and profits stay here. These people have always been super to step up and help in local fund-raising efforts and events. If you haven’t tried these hometown places, then I challenge you to do so in the near future.

Drum roll, please! Last but not least is Nomad II on N. May, with typical Italian fare plus the Jack Sussy’s pizza recipes. The fried pepperoni pizza or the Fleetwood Combo are just as they were in 1965. I guess we all have our very favorite pizza… but this is mine.

Remember, I just challenged you to lick your chops local and flavorful – and you’ll need one arm free for all the leftovers you carry home!

You’ll Have to Pry My “Big Gulp” Out of My Cold Dead Fingers

Have you heard any of this asinine, liberty-grabbing, Nazi nonsense about New York City? The mayor of New York, David Bloomberg (which must be Yiddish for “blooming idiot”), has made another end run at your intake monitoring.

He’s banning sugary soft drinks over 16 oz. cups from being sold. Yep, you read it right, my friend. This is absolutely ridiculous! Are people a little porky or plump? I admit, a lot of us are – BUT he doesn’t have the right to shut down choice and consumerism.

If Mick Cornett announced something like this, you’d see “normal” people who would run his happy face out of town on a Taco Bell calorie-saving chimichonga. We in OKC are proud of our hometown boys from Sonic and their happy hour value where you get the Route 44 drink for half price. It’s big, it’s bold, it’s Americana in a cup.

Look for it in the near future – bumper stickers proudly shouting out, “If you outlaw Big Gulps, only outlaws will have Big Gulps!” The only thing that will be super-sized is Bloomberg’s ego.

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Now, on to the next subject – Thunder-related, of course…

Some C- or B-rated star shows up in OKC, thinking he’ll just cruise into the B-ball Palace and we’ll spotlight his junky rear on the front row (television spotlight/close-up) for free because he showed up. What this bozo doesn’t get is that most people think Lil Wayne (rapper guy) is a slang term for the gun John Wayne used in one of his movies.

So get your cheap PR somewhere else, buddy! If you knew Charles Barkley, you wouldn’t have had that problem.

Celebrate Gringo de Mayo (Maaaay-o)!!!

Come celebrate Gringo de Mayo with us at Crawdad Corner! Here you will enjoy the specials at Herb’s Hoot-n-Hollar and car wash. Taste the gigantic Buzz Bomb Burritos, or are you man enough to down a Chimmy Don Chonga? And of course, we’ll have oodles and buckets of Roma Sue’s Rotel Rhumba Cheese Sauce. It’s great with seafood — if you see food, you’ll want to dip it!

Our Slush Puppie ice machine will have all the mixin’s swirling for a Nasty Rita Margarita — but as always, you’ll need to go across the street to Pudge Penrod’s “Package Store to the Stars” for your adult libation to add to your pleasure. Spare Tire Tequila will be on sale for only $9.99, in a lovely spare gas can “keepsake” decanter. (I still have the collectible tequila paint can from last year.)

Cop a buzz and a belly full, because we mean it when we say, “You’ll come back now, hear!!!!”