Travel Is Bliss

…because everybody wants to do it!

As we have conversations with others, the subject of travel is bound to come up. Humans like to think about and pontificate about the wondrous joys of travel – seeing exotic places, visiting the spot we’ve read about or seen on TV and in movies.

We spin marvelous yarns to each other about how wonderful “that place” is, compared to others. Beautiful sights, scrumptious foods and breathtaking sights, all just for adventurous lust and massive blow to our wallets. But let’s be honest – it also includes lots of hassles, annoyances, and things that just simply defy all logic.

Ladies, gentlemen and sports fans, it doesn’t matter if you have a room in Motel 6 or an upgraded suite in a St. Louis, San Diego or Boston with a grand 5-star restaurant that’s won whoopee-do-dah awards in four languages – if your toilet don’t work, you’re in a world of hurt. Your pleasurable getaway room has now become equivalent to the employee breakroom at your local sewer plant (without a restroom and having to drive to Circle K).

What makes this scenario even worse is when “Engineering” (the closest he ever came to engineering was his model train) has to make two visits to fix it. On his first visit, he claimed it was fixed, but a logical test (I pushed the handle down) revealed that his departure was way, way premature.

The second visit was none other than the guy I guess they call “The Cloginator” who was quick, profound, and left no prisoners. So if you think every child should go to college, then I will assume you’ve never had this hotel room saga of dammed-up drama.

Then on your journey home, when you arrive at the airport, what will greet you is the Starbucks shop that is out of coffee. You think that’s odd – odd, indeed – until you stroll down to the Dunkin Donut shop that sells NO DONUTS. That’s right, it’s Dunkin Donuts, but they have bagels, a breakfast flatbread sandwich, and a ham sandwich – and that’s it. No donuts, rolls, muffins, or cupcakes. Did I mention they have NO DONUTS? What’s the deal?

Oh, well, you can wait until you arrive into the Kansas City airport. But to go to the restroom, buy anything in their shops, or get something to eat you only have to walk out of your gate. Oops! They then make you go BACK THROUGH SECURITY. What bozo designed that albatross? Get a candy bar – back through security. Get a magazine – back through security. Use the bathroom – back through security.

So when you see one of those polls about friendly cities, most likely Kansas City won’t make the cut. Being paranoid about every single airplane passenger and their Snickers bar doesn’t exactly say, “Howdy, we are rolling out the red carpet for you, buddy!”

In summary, remember that a short cab ride is only because the driver couldn’t figure out a longer way.

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