Biggest Fear of 2012: Will Yoko Ono Break Up the Flaming Lips?

Cross my fingers, hold my breath and hope my mouth is holding just the right way, for luck. We in the “new” OKC can’t be the cause of our own boys Wayne Coyne and the Flaming Lips being broke up by the New Year’s Eve appearance of Yoko Ono and the Plastic Ono Band (featuring Sean Lennon). We are a big league city now, so don’t bring your bad mojo to Bricktown on Opening Night!

Let us be known for tornados, fires, drought and earthquakes, but not for having the Lipsters being broke up by the bleeping banshee of screaming, no-talent moon-doggies. Some say she was sent by the CIA just to infiltrate the Beatles and create a bumper car effect of egos bouncing and colliding in the Apple Records studio. John would do anything just to get her high-pitched screeching to shut up.

Please, please let Opening Night be a success of world-felt ramifications such as the Chihuly glass exhibition at the Oklahoma City Art Museum or a little rumba with the Thunda, or even the greatest weather for New Year’s Eve in God (Gary England) knows when. If you see a bunch of drunks wandering around Bricktown at 2:30 or 3 a.m. holding hands, carrying candles, and chanting, “All we are saying… is give the Lips a chance…” we could be in trouble.

I hope they make Yoko eat a Del Rancho chicken fry sandwich supreme and wear a plastic cowboy hat, because she’s never been properly punished for breaking up the Beatles. Maybe the TSA will give her a rough go of it, but most of them are more pop music people. All I can hope for is that she’s forced to wear a goofy, stupid New Year’s hat and made to eat a Taco Bell burrito.

All I can say is this — you have your bucket list, and I have mine.

Happy New Year 2012!

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