You Can Win the Lottery!

I’ve seen online ads, infomercials, and books on how to win the lottery. It must be easy – why else would they share this super-secret info with just anybody? Some people who, as the old saying goes, “have more money than sense” should be disqualified from winning, like the homely redneck from Alabama who married a stripper that took his hear and now-bulging wallet.

So raise your right hand and swear that, if you should win, you would be a level-headed, tight-fisted, kind-hearted winner, so help you Mother Teresa!!

Now, I will tell you how to pick your lottery numbers.

  • First number – How many are in a baker’s dozen? (13)
  • Second number – Sherlock Holmes’ address? (221B Baker Street)
  • Third number – The number of counties in Oklahoma? (77)
  • Fourth number – The number of people who were ever in the Beatles? (5 – Pete Best)
  • Fifth number – The number of penpals you had in the 7th grade? (0-10)

Now for the most important number – the Powerball. This either dictates if you win, or how much it multiplies your winnings. Not to be too chauvinistic, but there’s only true way to pick this – only ONE way will absolutely assure you to win: What was Mickey Mantle’s number? Seven – lucky number 7 has been a choice for centuries.

Now that I’ve given you the perfect formula to win the lottery, the ball’s in your court.

Oh, by the way – more lottery winners come from people just randomly buying tickets rather than picking numbers. About 82% are random picks, but don’t let that stop you from picking your numbers. After all, your chance of winning either way is about 237 billion to one.

Good luck, and remember – if you need a back-up plan, the numbers on your fortune cookie slip of paper do nicely… but you’ll feel like picking another set of numbers in a couple of hours.

PS: Tips are expected…..

August 11, 2016 at 9:17 pm Leave a comment

Looking Out My Back Door…

I know we’ve all grown up watching movies, television, looking online, and reading books, finding out about exotic or interesting spots around the globe. The splendor, food, customs and people, as they relate to history, have captured us each and every one.

Your specific favorites, or “bucket list”, may be within your grasp – or not – but let’s take a step back and ponder. Your choice might be the Greek islands, Japan, Turkey, Samoa, or even Australia. I admit these are all great choices, but have you ever stopped to think about what you haven’t seen in America?

I like people who set goals like at least being in all 50 states at least once. Maybe set it up to visit as many Drive-Ins, Diners & Dives or as many National Parks as possible. Have you ever been to Key West, Seattle, Boston, New Orleans, the Grand Canyon, Yellowstone, Gettysburg, Presidential Libraries, Hall of Fame (Baseball, Football, Basketball, Rock ‘n’ Roll, NASCAR), Historic Sites, Savannah, Mt. Rushmore, or Carlsbad Caverns? These are the biggies, so to speak – there are thousands of cities, sites, and historic places to see from the east coast to the west coast.

Then there is Alaska or Hawaii – a huge contrast, but both are really interesting, and somewhere everyone should see. Beaches and volcanoes or glaciers and wilderness – the contrast is enough to keep National Geographic busy for years.

If you haven’t taken advantage of all the different choices in Oklahoma, then I urge you to plan day or weekend trips. Sand dunes, mesas, prairies, hill country, wooded areas, and numerous lakes are all great places to see in our state. The food, sites, and diversity of activities can be seen on the Discover Oklahoma television show, but take advantage of the Oklahoma State Tourism website to research or order information. Guess what? People actually plan trips to come here from other places!

Switching topics, I am so proud to be a School Board member for Moore-Norman Technology Center. After reading about Wright Business/Technical School going bankrupt and leaving students hung out to dry, I want to remind you that all Oklahoma Career Techs (Vo-Tech) provide for $2,000-$5,000 what Wrights was having students take out loans of $10,000, $20,000, or even $30,000 for the same courses to meet industry certification to get a career, not just a job.

April 27, 2016 at 9:00 pm Leave a comment

We Were Told to Save the World…

Since the beginning of time, we’ve always had people on a mission to save the world. No, not the Great Commission, but just passion-driven (psycho, sometimes) niches that somebody leads the charge. Everything from making sure history is preserved to the extinction of a snail darter that we didn’t know existed.

Not that some of these rescuers aren’t noble in their thinking – after all, the whales are majestic creatures which my grandkids’ grandkids do need to be able to enjoy and know man didn’t eradicate them.

Dog and horse rescuers are big in Oklahoma. People should not have so many dogs and let them over-populate. Then it becomes other people’s problem. Dog rescuers know that these animals deserve to be loved and taken care of, thus returning that love and care to a master in loyalty, companionship and affection. Remember, serial killers all tortured and killed animals when they were young – it’s got to be true because I see it in movies and all those Law & Order shows on TV.

Horse rescuers are the best, because most of the time horses can’t run away like dogs can. You never see a horse hanging around outside of a 7-11, now do you? Some horses re worth millions and others practically nothing – like rap artists – but they deserve dignity. Horses are used by a client of mine to provide therapy to certain children. God bless these efforts!

That gets me to the point of a huge decision – to become a “Food Rescuer.” Well, somebody has to do it! Take, for example, the OKC Food Fest last Thursday, a fund-raiser for the Food Bank, where all the masterful chefs in OKC make tasty dishes, trying to outdo each other. Somebody needs to take home any leftovers – thus Glen Ray, the “Food Rescuer.”

Next example – if you (out in this reading audience) have a gift card for a local restaurant that you haven’t or are not going to use, then give me, the “Food Rescuer” a call. It’s not polite or good financial sense not to use it. If it was a gift, then I’ll give you a detailed review for you to pass on to the giver (as if they were your own comments).

That’s what we do in the South – “bless your little heart!”

March 13, 2016 at 12:18 pm Leave a comment

Just What the Heck is Our Priority?

The presidential candidates are blowing and going strong. The Iowa Caucus is over and our Oklahoma legislature is starting.

Mr. Trump is declaring that he can cut deals like nobody’s business. After our current president gave the Iranians seven that we captured for five Americans (but one of the so-called Americans didn’t even want to come home), gave $150 billion dollars, and allowed them to dump their huge oil reserves on the already-glutted market, I agree with Mr. Trump – even my 6-year-old granddaughter could negotiate better than this.

Our state has a $900 million dollar deficit, but I guess we have time to propose laws that everyone registered to vote MUST subscribe to a newspaper. Does the National Enquirer count, or does it have to be one with 75% ads, like the Bethany Tribune? Several years ago, the legislature had a bill to require white cloth napkins in all BBQ restaurants – maybe if that had passed, we wouldn’t be in the current budget crisis.

Do we have a state biscuit? Do we need one? Wow, you know what’s coming up soon – Valentine’s Day. Do we have a state Valentine? We might as well waste time and pass a bill about that, or it could already be in the 3,400 already filed for this session.

How about requiring Glamour Shots for all driver’s license photos? Just a thought…..

February 7, 2016 at 12:27 pm Leave a comment

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