Just got back from Disneyworld, and things are different there. No fussing (well, maybe if they can’t buy a toy or a Mickey Mouse-shaped ice cream) or fighting (just over who gets to ride and not stay with the little tykes that can’t go on that one… there is a height law, you know).
If you’ve never been, you need to know that you are given a colored wristband with super powers to charge anything and everything to your credit card. This little wrist bauble will get you into your hotel room, provide nourishment, snacks, rides, shows, clothing, souvenirs, and mosquito spray. Alligators are never mentioned, but alligator spray probably doesn’t work.
You have numerous odd characters roaming among you – some in elaborate costumes, and others in very odd garb put together by people who have no sense of style, no taste, no self-respect, and families that allow themselves to be seen with them. Tattoos (not that there is anything wrong with them) have got to be one of the booming industries of the 21st century. Tats are numerous, and some are quite confusing as to what in the Sam Hill they are, mean, or portray. These hieroglyphics of our time will be very confusing to the people of the future. Not markings such as “Mother” or “Harley Davidson”, but just stuff off a matchbook cover or a picture of Guy Fieri, and numerous ex-wives’ names.
The many Disney and movie characters are there for you to have your pictures taken with, but some children don’t want to be anywhere close to these bigger-than-life icons. Disney has it down pat on keeping the illusion going – the cartoon characters all have “handlers” with them every step of the way (I think it’s crowd control, but mainly to get that costume off and on to go tinkle), and serve as the “bad guy” in blowing off kids along the trek.
Were there weird things, or such as you might think peculiar? One that comes to mind was the offering of a BBQ bacon cheeseburger with a side of green beans. This is so wrong, in so many ways. The distinct soda racist regime of having NO Dr. Pepper on any of the Disney properties (parks or resorts). I can almost see the classic Coke/Pepsi battle of the enemy colas, but good grief! Don’t make us brave Dr. Pepper withdrawals while trying to have the “time of our life.”
This world of Disney brings out the empathy in almost anyone when feeling the humidity and temperature of Florida, but see the poor workers having to wear hot outfits just to portray the venue of assignment – bus, train, ferry, monorail, excursion boat, or train – providing all your transportation needs from place to place. I just threw my arms up a couple of times and took a $9 cab ride for the seven of us. Best money ever spent, and I would double down next time.
This return trip was 30 years after my original visit. Same places mostly, but some improvements and updates. Disney Hollywood is pretty neat, but I have a great respect for “classic movies” and the nostalgia of the movie allure. I must always remember that time does not stand still, but we must cherish the past to do honor to the future. No matter how long it’s been or when we go, I will forever be a believer in the magic of Disney, because it’s always reflected in the eyes of a child.
I’ve seen online ads, infomercials, and books on how to win the lottery. It must be easy – why else would they share this super-secret info with just anybody? Some people who, as the old saying goes, “have more money than sense” should be disqualified from winning, like the homely redneck from Alabama who married a stripper that took his hear and now-bulging wallet.
So raise your right hand and swear that, if you should win, you would be a level-headed, tight-fisted, kind-hearted winner, so help you Mother Teresa!!
Now, I will tell you how to pick your lottery numbers.
- First number – How many are in a baker’s dozen? (13)
- Second number – Sherlock Holmes’ address? (221B Baker Street)
- Third number – The number of counties in Oklahoma? (77)
- Fourth number – The number of people who were ever in the Beatles? (5 – Pete Best)
- Fifth number – The number of penpals you had in the 7th grade? (0-10)
Now for the most important number – the Powerball. This either dictates if you win, or how much it multiplies your winnings. Not to be too chauvinistic, but there’s only true way to pick this – only ONE way will absolutely assure you to win: What was Mickey Mantle’s number? Seven – lucky number 7 has been a choice for centuries.
Now that I’ve given you the perfect formula to win the lottery, the ball’s in your court.
Oh, by the way – more lottery winners come from people just randomly buying tickets rather than picking numbers. About 82% are random picks, but don’t let that stop you from picking your numbers. After all, your chance of winning either way is about 237 billion to one.
Good luck, and remember – if you need a back-up plan, the numbers on your fortune cookie slip of paper do nicely… but you’ll feel like picking another set of numbers in a couple of hours.
PS: Tips are expected…..
I know we’ve all grown up watching movies, television, looking online, and reading books, finding out about exotic or interesting spots around the globe. The splendor, food, customs and people, as they relate to history, have captured us each and every one.
Your specific favorites, or “bucket list”, may be within your grasp – or not – but let’s take a step back and ponder. Your choice might be the Greek islands, Japan, Turkey, Samoa, or even Australia. I admit these are all great choices, but have you ever stopped to think about what you haven’t seen in America?
I like people who set goals like at least being in all 50 states at least once. Maybe set it up to visit as many Drive-Ins, Diners & Dives or as many National Parks as possible. Have you ever been to Key West, Seattle, Boston, New Orleans, the Grand Canyon, Yellowstone, Gettysburg, Presidential Libraries, Hall of Fame (Baseball, Football, Basketball, Rock ‘n’ Roll, NASCAR), Historic Sites, Savannah, Mt. Rushmore, or Carlsbad Caverns? These are the biggies, so to speak – there are thousands of cities, sites, and historic places to see from the east coast to the west coast.
Then there is Alaska or Hawaii – a huge contrast, but both are really interesting, and somewhere everyone should see. Beaches and volcanoes or glaciers and wilderness – the contrast is enough to keep National Geographic busy for years.
If you haven’t taken advantage of all the different choices in Oklahoma, then I urge you to plan day or weekend trips. Sand dunes, mesas, prairies, hill country, wooded areas, and numerous lakes are all great places to see in our state. The food, sites, and diversity of activities can be seen on the Discover Oklahoma television show, but take advantage of the Oklahoma State Tourism website to research or order information. Guess what? People actually plan trips to come here from other places!
Switching topics, I am so proud to be a School Board member for Moore-Norman Technology Center. After reading about Wright Business/Technical School going bankrupt and leaving students hung out to dry, I want to remind you that all Oklahoma Career Techs (Vo-Tech) provide for $2,000-$5,000 what Wrights was having students take out loans of $10,000, $20,000, or even $30,000 for the same courses to meet industry certification to get a career, not just a job.
Since the beginning of time, we’ve always had people on a mission to save the world. No, not the Great Commission, but just passion-driven (psycho, sometimes) niches that somebody leads the charge. Everything from making sure history is preserved to the extinction of a snail darter that we didn’t know existed.
Not that some of these rescuers aren’t noble in their thinking – after all, the whales are majestic creatures which my grandkids’ grandkids do need to be able to enjoy and know man didn’t eradicate them.
Dog and horse rescuers are big in Oklahoma. People should not have so many dogs and let them over-populate. Then it becomes other people’s problem. Dog rescuers know that these animals deserve to be loved and taken care of, thus returning that love and care to a master in loyalty, companionship and affection. Remember, serial killers all tortured and killed animals when they were young – it’s got to be true because I see it in movies and all those Law & Order shows on TV.
Horse rescuers are the best, because most of the time horses can’t run away like dogs can. You never see a horse hanging around outside of a 7-11, now do you? Some horses re worth millions and others practically nothing – like rap artists – but they deserve dignity. Horses are used by a client of mine to provide therapy to certain children. God bless these efforts!
That gets me to the point of a huge decision – to become a “Food Rescuer.” Well, somebody has to do it! Take, for example, the OKC Food Fest last Thursday, a fund-raiser for the Food Bank, where all the masterful chefs in OKC make tasty dishes, trying to outdo each other. Somebody needs to take home any leftovers – thus Glen Ray, the “Food Rescuer.”
Next example – if you (out in this reading audience) have a gift card for a local restaurant that you haven’t or are not going to use, then give me, the “Food Rescuer” a call. It’s not polite or good financial sense not to use it. If it was a gift, then I’ll give you a detailed review for you to pass on to the giver (as if they were your own comments).
That’s what we do in the South – “bless your little heart!”